My sister Jenni put this amazing quote on her blog and dedicated the post to me. Thanks Jen. It was exactly what I needed to hear. For the past few weeks Shane and I have been trying to explore ways to get our family out there and have birth mothers look at our file. About a month ago we had to opportunity to speak to a ward on their 5
th Sunday combined RS/Priesthood. It was such a great experience. Of course I bawled my way through my whole talk. I was suppose to talk about how adoption has changed my life. Hello? It's turned it upside down and inside out in the best way possible. I will confess that at times I still struggle with
why I can't get pregnant. I'm sure we could try in-
vitro again and maybe even achieve a pregnancy, but the odds are so slim and it's so expensive. I will be glad when I have a clearer picture in the next life why I was chosen to be an adoptive mother. Not that I am complaining, Peyton and Connor are the greatest blessings I could ask for! Still, when I hear of couples who are able to plan out their families (you know, I want to have summer baby so I need to go of b/c in this month so I can get
prego and they seriously get pregnant the 1st month) I hope they are grateful for the ease of their conception.
Ok-sorry for that
tanget. All these crazy thoughts have been going through my head lately. I called a local
hospital and spoke to the medical director over labor and delivery with no success, however she was super nice and referred me to a OB office that handles adoptions only to find out they only use three agencies and
LDS is not one of them. In talking to our social worker, adoption has changed so much in the past year. They are just not getting the volume of birth mothers coming in and those that do come in only about 1/3 of them place, and out of that amount most have a birth plan already in place. That means they have already been online and chosen a family or been referred by friends and family to look at a
specific family. It's been frustrating since there are about 500 families on
LDS' website! Do you see my frustrations??? I try to be positive and remember we've only been approved for about 6 months, but it's hard.
Anywho, back to the quote that my sister left on her blog...... it came at the right time. I love it!!!
"Something still grows inside a woman who doesn't conceive a baby. In her grows character that is consumed with confidence, humility and desire. A symbolic embryo that is hers to nurture and others to behold. And it's birth is phenomenal." -
courtney (last name unknown)
At these times when I am feeling so down, and weak, it's nice to remember that Heavenly Father is in charge. He wants me to learn and grow from this. I hope that I am doing my best, and that I am making Him proud. I can say that from adoption I have learned that there is a special kind of love that develops between an adoptive family and a birth family. I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to experience that. It is truly amazing. I am in awe of the strength displayed by both of our birth moms. They are truly amazing women.
I love this quote too-it may be a little cliche , but it's true:
My cup runneth over
7 comments:
Ok.. just let me wipe the tears away...
That quote was awesome and it so fits you. Hearing you describe your feelings of worry, frustration and challenge by wondering if other people who can just get pregnant whenever they choose to it seems, really realize the blessing and appreciate the ability to do so.. reminded me of my challenges with McKynlee. Very different; but I often feel very similar feelings only pertaining to my situation and it feels like I'm in it all alone most of time (although I know I'm really not). I have to remind myself that other people are also challenged in different ways and we're all in this growing & learning process together.
We'll keep your little growing family our prayers. I wish I would've been there for your talk, I'm sure it was great!
Ro, It was great to see you the other night at bunco. I am so glad that Sandee has brought you into my life. You are such an inspiration. I hope you will be able to come to the retreat. We do have a spot open so let me know.
You have such a beautiful family. The Karp Family will keep you in our prayers. We love U :)
I have written and re-written a comment to this post about 10 times, wanting to say the perfect thing. I am so bad at this! So, I really just want to say that I am so sorry that you're frustrated. You and Shane and your boys make the most darling, wonderful family.... and when that little baby finally finds it's way to you, it will be the luckiest little babe around!!!! I know that doesn't help, but I want to tell you what amazing parents you are (and awesome friends to us too of course!) I think you're right about what you said in your other post, that there is a reason for the "closed doors" you're experiencing right now, and when it's all said and done, you'll know why you had to go through these delays and frustrations. But for now, I am sorry.
I just got the chills over and over. You are so amazing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I hear you girl! Not only hear you, but am with you and have been there all the way! Remember to "TRUST in the process".....Its a hard one, but as you already know well worth the blessing! And what a blessing it will be indeed!!!!
Thanks for leaving your blog adress, I have had fun reading it this morning. Your family is darling, and from reading your favorites it sounds like we have a lot in common. I have a blog also, I am very new at this whole blog, face book thing myself, but I am loving reconnecting with old friends. I too loved what you wrote in your last post. It was a nice way to start my Monday. Its hard to know what to say, but I hope and pray that you will be blessed soon with an addition to your darling family.
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